Looking back and looking forward

There might have been an earlier inciting event but this is what I remember. Likely as an easy way to dream of sunny climates amidst the backdrop of a winter north of 60, I began to explore the possibility of moving to New Zealand.

It seemed like the place for me. On the North Island, you can forget about winter. The islands are lush and ripe for adventure. Its people are like Canadians, I felt, only they talked in a funny way. There are more sheep than people, there are steep mountains and empty beaches just like home. It is similar but different, a world apart and also quite familiar. I should go there, work in hospitality, build some skills and maybe I could stay. I even found a book at the Whitehorse library [guys – I looked really hard for the name of this bloody book. It’s not an obscure author, but I can’t find his name and I have scant key words to narrow my search] on the many reasons why people might consider the move to New Zealand. It was Hawaii without the Americans; Australia without the Australians; stable, warm, inviting, new and totally wrong for me.

I think I was over compensating. There was a feeling that I had made a wrong turn and only something big and bold could right it. From New Zealand I moved to Costa Rica, scanning through forums listing farms for sale. These at least were on the right half of them planet. I had visited the region and new what to expect. Plus it automatically answered the question of what I was going to do. I couldn’t very well retire at 25, but maybe I could grow coffee. People do that, right? Well, maybe I would have to save for awhile first, but I was getting closer. 

My plans gradually changed from how do I get out of here right now to can I get out of here sooner rather than later? I was growing up! Maybe the feeling was supposed to subside. People have plenty of fancies that come under certain conditions then leave once they’ve been interrogated and their infeasibility brought to light. Change is a lot of work! It’s like buying the new tennis racket, using it once and declaring that it’s not for you. You tried. You dabbled. Leaping with both feet is too risky and you congratulate yourself for being a reasonable person. This was different: I could not let it go. I needed to try my hand at living abroad, of a taking an extended adventure somewhere new. It was the only thing that I knew about myself for certain.

I’m at my best on vacation. That sounds obvious, something everyone would claim, but for many I just wouldn’t buy it and with a little bit of soul searching I doubt that they would either. It fills my soul like nothing else and now we are about a year away from the biggest vacation of our lives. It isn’t exactly living abroad. Not an opportunity to sell off our stuff and take a different path. We’re going on an extended adventure and then coming back. All the same, it feels almost close enough to touch and I’ve already begun to fill free time developing loose plans and dreaming. 

There enough others out there that I’m confident in the feasibility of our mission. The travelers on Youtube are all living out of their specialized trucks and campers, staying in hotels only sparingly. We’ll be going in our modest hatchback and camping only sparingly. This will make for a very different kind of trip and I’m excited to see how our experiences compare and contrast. We also aren’t going to film ourselves. Sorry, you’ll have to read it here.

So much has changed since those days in Whitehorse, with that younger me just so damn eager to do something different. And it has been different – just not in that way. But life is long and longer still if you keep things fresh, if you remember how vital it is to get out of your comfort zone, take advantage of a short life and a rich world full of interesting places and people. Life is exploration. The clock is ticking and I’m ready.

[Photo attribution: Mac McCreery]