Heading for Home

There’s one month left of our trip and then that will be that.

Everything’s booked not, locked in, the road ahead assured (at least, on paper). We plan to cross back into Canada on 9 April, 2023, a little earlier than originally planned and that will be the end of our big adventure. Then it’s back to reality, I guess. And while a month is a long time (when was the last month long holiday you had?), I know how fast it will zip by and how useless it is to try and grasp to it more tightly. This is happening.

A few days ago, I was ready to go. We had left the comfort of Mérida, content that we had done all we needed to do. It helped that Chiapas was a struggle to traverse in ways, it felt a bit like we had to work ourselves up in order to keep going. Gone was some of the energy that had propelled us in those first naive, road-virgin days along the Baja. There’s a certain excitement to see what’s been going on back home in our absence. I’m ready to stop moving and to clear up room in my brain for other thoughts.

There are signs of chips in the armour now, too: the car is bruised, Sarah has a tooth ache, Gidget hates the return of the Heat and has some tooth problems of her own. And while this isn’t yet a retreat for home, we dream of something familiar, static. Even better, our return won’t be BAM – back to work – the moment we walk back through our front door. I need to find work. Sarah has a full, wonderful summer of possibilities before her. It will be a transition by design and the shock will be eased.

Despite of these good omens, all of a sudden I feel limbered up again and ready for more – a second (or tenth) wind. Either that, or the reality of it is more sobering now, more than a concept and a touch of desperation is taking hold. We’ve hit our most southerly point. In a few days it’s back into the mountains. I’m no longer planning out our next stops, I’m checking them off a list. I want to take control again. Yes, there are topes scraping up our car; yes, I’m tired of bad beer and bad bread; yes, I want my own bead, my own temperature, my own kitchen, my own bathroom, my own sky and salty air. But there too are endless sunny skies, warm evenings dining al fresco, swimming in the sea, cheap beer and maybe I didn’t need all that bread anyhow.

It’s a predictable emotion. Ready for the end yet not wanting it to end. At least, not wanting it to fizzle out. Endings are inevitable, true, but can we craft the best ending possible? To that ‘end,’ there will be some things to keep front of mind over the coming weeks. The first is to ensure the remainder of our time in Mexico is not merely going through the motions, of giving over to the vacuum-suck pulling us inexorably north. Things, on the whole, are still amazing and what a gift that we have more time to explore. Keep this in mind.

The second thing is to stay the path. It’s tempting to suddenly go too far the other way and trying to cram as much as possible in to every single day, as though that is the way we should have been travelling from the beginning. We’ve done much; there is also so much left unexplored. I’ve dealt with this urge a bit already, by actually paring back some earlier ambition where it became clear it would become too much. Like the days spent mapping out our route and all the stops along it, it’s not possible (or even desirable) to see everything and do everything. This is the curse and gift of travel altogether – leave something to dream about.

And finally, I want to remember where this all began. It’s about curiosity and openness and returning some of the awe to the everyday. I wanted to challenge myself and I have. I wanted to see a different side of a country I thought I knew and I’ve done that too. It’s been harder and more expensive and hotter and bumpier than perhaps I went into it believing, which of course is much of the point. It’s what I take back that matters and I have plenty of that.

So bring on the final few weeks in Mexico and the long drive back home. I know there’ll always be more to explore if I’m willing and able.